As I was looking around my site, I came across a tag that I saw was associated with my blog and that tag was “positive”. That got me thinkin’! I wanted to write a post about being very positive, especially body positive. I’m not going to sit here and write, “You need to go to the gym five times a week. You need to eat healthy. You need to do something. You need to look a certain way” (there’s a reason as to why I italicized the word “need”). Honestly, I don’t even do those things 90% of the time. Me, personally, I wouldn’t tell someone to do something, look a certain way, or be a certain someone because I wouldn’t want someone to tell me those things, either. But there’s one thing I would tell someone to “be” and that one thing is to be unapologetically yourself. Let me tell you a little story about me.
When I was in the 6th grade, I was watching America’s Next Top Model and at one moment, I wanted to be a model. So I thought, “I need to be skinny.” Good idea, right? In full disclosure, I was very self-conscious about my image and my body, which lead into a six year eating disorder downward spiral. I jumped anywhere between bulimia and anorexia. I eventually became very unhappy and I didn’t let anyone into my life because I was ashamed of whom I had become. When I finally hit my last year of high school, I was emotionally tired. I thought, “You know, Coohleen, will you ever look like Mila Kunis when you wake up? Will you ever be sincerely happy with who you’ve become and will become?” At that moment, it hit me like a silent train running at 100 miles per hour, “You’ll never be Mila Kunis because Mila Kunis is the only person who will ever look like Mila Kunis when she wakes up.” At that very moment, I decided I wanted to be happy and that day, I ate without feeling like I was ugly, fat, worthless. I was also bullied a lot as a kid for wearing the same clothes all the time, for being thicker than most, and for being really ugly to everyone else. After high school, everything changes, trust me. Eventually, I stop listening to negative comments people had to say about me and I walked away with my head held high and my eyebrows on fleek. I learned to just be myself and if anyone didn’t like that, I gracefully shut that door and allowed a new door to open.
Being sincerely happy with who you were, who you are, and who you want to become is a very difficult journey, but no matter where you’ve come from and how long it took you to get to where you are now, best believe you deserve to be happy. Don’t listen to people who try to put you down because those words are not worth thinking about. Believe that you are charismatic, witty, talented, beautiful, and all the other wonderful adjectives in between and you’ll eventually become that person. Now that I’m 21, I like to say that I have a few experiences in my bag, so trust me when I say that the best version of you is when you are unapologetically yourself. Just because you don’t fit in with a certain crowd, someone doesn’t like you, or any other negative BS, doesn’t mean you’re worthless. In actuality, you’re priceless. For all of those who feel like you’re not as handsome or as pretty as the next person, I can’t tell you to change the way you feel, but I wanted to tell you that you’re the best lookin’ unicorn out there (; you are “be-you-tiful”
With lots of love,